When I was 20 I got my first “grown-up” job as a bank teller. The night before my first day my dad had to show me how to tie a tie. However, the next morning when I was looking at all seven of my tied ties, I realized that all I really had to do was adjust the knot. Way easier than remember those four steps.

I was at work three years later when the initial knot finally gave way. I was mortified. Our computers weren’t connect to the Internet, I couldn’t watch a YouTube video on my smart phone (I’m old, this was before all of that). The only person I could ask was the branch president. He was a former Marine and kind of scary. When I asked him he just stared at me for a moment and then said, “you’ve only been given fish you’re entirely life. Today, you will learn to fish.” It took forever, but I learned how.

The first time I tried my gi on in the changing area, I was hit with that memory, and panicky realization that I had no idea how to tie the belt. I stood there for 5 minutes frantically wrapping and unwrapping it around myself, trying different knots and even attempting to tie it like I tie my shoes. I had one of those panicky conversations with myself in my own head:

Brain: Why didn’t you watch a YouTube video before you came to class? You idiot.

Me: Had the part of me that is in charge of ideas thought of it, I would have.

Brain: Yeah, well, you look dumb, not me.

I Need an Adult!

Red-faced, sweating and muttering to myself I was trying any kind of knot that seemed to make sense in my frazzled state. Someone walked in and scared the crap out of me.“Oh, nice, you got a gi!” “Let me show you how to tie the belt.” I was saved! As I handed him my belt he uttered one of my favorite phrases when learning something new, “let me show you the easy way.” SOLD!

I’ve officially been “taught to fish” two different times, but if you handed me a fishing rod, I’d have no idea what to do with it. Other than attempt to tie it in knots. Thankfully tying a gi is just as easy as tying a tie, I just needed to have a grown-up show me.